Obstacles: What Are They, Anyway?

 

When you think about obstacles, you may think about items, things, or people that obstruct, hinder, delay, frustrate, or even stop you. You may even believe that you have to jump over, go around, go under, or knock down obstacles. Obstacles can cause fear, terror, panic, depression, shock, despair, hopelessness, dejection, and misery.

According the Merriam Webster Dictionary the very definition of obstacle means obstruction, impediment, barrier, blockage, problem, difficulty, hindrance, or complication. We all seem to see obstacles in the same light: something we want to avoid.

Despite our desire to escape them, we all are faced with obstacles each day of our lives. Considering the definition of obstacles, it seems impossible for us to even consider that an obstacle could be a blessing. I certainly didn’t see any as blessings in my youth. At an early age, I was faced with many obstacles that terrified me, devastated me, and caused great sorrow. The difficulties of obstacles can indeed cause all that I have mentioned above and more. The feelings of depression, loneliness, abandonment, and even guilt that come from dealing with obstacles can change our lives and make it difficult for us to move forward.

How you move from one obstacle to the next depends on what you believe and what you hold to be true. You can choose to sit back and feel sorry for yourself and become self-destructive, or you can decide to move forward with hope, faith, and determination. You must have the strength of mind that you will not give up and then determine in your heart and mind that you will make it through by the grace of God, that by His strength, you will pull yourself up and move forward with life. Many times, when we go through problems, we become angry, withdrawn, displaced, and depressed. We would rather run away or just not deal with the issues. Some of the obstacles that we are faced with can even devastate or destroy us.

Obstacles can come in the form of violence, divorce, death, incest, molestation, rape, unexpected pregnancy, illness, broken relationships, loss of home, loss of job, and many other forms. In short, they are anything that causes that bump in the road, that lump in the throat, that pressure in the head, and that churn in the stomach. These are feelings of uncertainty that cause us to question how we will make it to the next day and who is in control. They are the source that causes our thinking to alter, emotions to waver, and feelings to fade.

“I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has had to overcome while trying to succeed.” Booker T. Washington

Continued Blessings,

Darlene

Excerpt from Darlene’s Book “Overcoming The Obstacles, Releasing The Winner in You,” Published by Tate Publishing and Enterprises. Available at www.Amazon.com , http://www.barnesandnoble.com and through bookstores nationwide.

About Darlene Hunter

Darlene Hunter, (www.darlenehunter.com), is president of Darlene Hunter & Associates, LLC, a motivational / inspirational speaker, author, life and business coach, and award-winning radio talk show host. Her new book, “Win-Ability, Navigating through Life’s Challenges with a Winning Attitude,” is her fourth on the theme of perseverance. She is the host of “The Darlene Hunter Show”, winner of the Fishbowl Radio Network 2013 Distance Show Of The Year Award. Hunter has been a top performer in management for more than 30 years.

The Other Silent Killer, Depression

The Other Silent Killer, Depression

I have always heard that the silent killer was hypertension, or what we commonly call “High Blood Pressure. Most of us do not have a problem talking about hypertension.  In the African American community we not only talked about “high blood pressure” but at times we have joked about it.

When it comes to depression, however not many of us talk about it.   It is something that we keep under the carpet.  We do not openly admit that we suffer from depression and in most cases we do not ever share that ourselves, our children or loved ones are suffering from depression.  It is so very sad to think that people who are so, so sad inside cannot tell anyone how they feel.  We work so hard to be ok for everyone else, while being simply broken on the inside.

Yesterday I was upset to hear that MarShawn M. McCarrrel ll, Black Lives Matters activist, killed himself on the steps of the Ohio statehouse. My first thoughts were why a 23 year old young man would decide that he no longer wanted to be here and the only alternative he had was to kill himself. I believe that so many of our young people are suffering from depression and have said what MarShawn M. McCarrrel ll said in his final post, “My demons won today.”

In the African American community it’s very difficult to suffer from depression and let others within the family know. We have always been seen as strong and resilient and been told if you fall down, just get up.  I am a firm believer that a positive attitude in life is critically important.  I teach it, coach others with that in mind and practice it every day.  However, we have to do better and help our children and loved ones know that it’s ok to admit that they are depressed.  We have to be able to identify the signs and get them help.  It is not something to be ashamed of.  There are many reasons why we can be depressed, and not one of them is a reason to hide it.

Depression is a serious medical condition that can hold you back from moving forward. No one knows for certain what causes depression; experts believe that depression occurs when certain chemicals in the brain are out of balance.

Today, I am screaming from the top of my lungs. We must talk to our kids, watch their behaviors, seek help and guidance for them and assure them that it’s ok for them to tell you and anyone else that they are sad inside or just not feeling themselves.

Let’s not let this silent killer, depression take one more life.

Darlene

About Darlene Hunter

Darlene Hunter, (www.darlenehunter.com), is president of Darlene Hunter & Associates, LLC, a motivational / inspirational speaker, author, life and business coach, and award-winning radio talk show host. Her new book, “Win-Ability, Navigating through Life’s Challenges with a Winning Attitude,” is her fourth on the theme of perseverance. She is the host of “The Darlene Hunter Show”, winner of the Fishbowl Radio Network 2013 Distance Show Of The Year Award. Hunter has been a top performer in management for more than 30 years.

From My Heart To Yours – To the Families and Friends of the Victims of Sandy Hook Elementary School

This blog goes out to every mother, father, daughter, son, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, and all friends of the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown Connecticut.

I have been in prayers for weeks for you and your families. Like so many others, my heart was broken when I heard of this tragedy. I just wanted to do something to make it right. I wanted to cry with you, hug you, hold you, hold your hands and just be there for you and with you.

Today as I was still praying for you, I asked The Lord what I could do to help. I wanted to offer my support in any way possible and help to motivate you to keep living and keep moving forward, but how could I do this being so far away. Today, I decided to motivate and inspire you through my words.

As much as I wish that I could, I cannot bring your loved ones back or change the events that took place that day, but what I can do is share some hope and uncommon love.

I cannot explain the why behind what has happened, but I do know that God loves each and everyone of you and He has not forgotten about you. It may sound crazy right now, but in spite of what has happened God is still in control and He has not abandoned you. I know that it has been hard to understand how a loving God could have allowed for such a terrible thing to happen, but please don’t give up on Him. I believe that even in this God will turn what was so bad into something good.

Your loved ones did not live in vain. Think about the difference and impact that they have made in your lives and the lives of others around them. Think about all of the conversations you had with them. Think about their smiles, their laugh and just that special way they went about doing things. Think about what you learned from them and how they made your feel special and appreciated. Think about how blessed you are just because they were in your life. Think about their special way they loved you and how you have grown from loving them. Think about how privileged you are to have had the opportunity to have loved them.

So don’t be discouraged or despair, but be inspired by how they lived and keep moving forward with your life sharing that uncommon, unchanging love that God has enabled you to experience through your loved ones.

Be encouraged and God bless,
Darlene Hunter
Motivational / Inspirational Speaker & Life Coach
http://www.DarleneHunter.com

The “F” Factor

The “F” Factor

I know, when you saw the title, a few things came to mind, but the “F” factor that I am talking about is life changing, it actively contributes to the production of an amazing result.

Many of us have gone through things in our life that we did not think we would get through or even in some cases, did not want to get through. I went through a divorce that I thought would destroy my very personhood. I recall a moment that I just wanted to give up the fight, the hurt and the pain and just go on to glory, but God had a different plan. As time went by I discovered the “F” factor.

My “F” factor was FAITH. Those of us who have read the bible knows what it says about FAITH. We so easily quote the scripture about FAITH “being the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen”. .. But do we really know what it is to walk by FAITH, to live by FAITH and to move by FAITH?

FAITH is believing that all will work out for you, no matter what it looks like, feels like or what others may be saying. FAITH is knowing and believing that God is all wise and knows what He is doing with your life. FAITH is not necessary looking for the person, place or thing that is seen as an obstacle to change or move, but trusting and believing that God can still get the expected outcome that He has designed for your life even with those things still in place.

You see…FAITH is believing without question! When you have FAITH you believe with strong conviction, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that things will get better and change is on the way. FAITH means that you do not have to see the change happening or have proof that it will occur, you simply have to believe and trust in God and His faithfulness.

So how do you get this FAITH… So glad you asked. The bible says that FAITH comes from hearing and hearing from the word of God.

So my friend, if you are struggling with the things which may happen today, tomorrow and as you move forward in your life and are afraid and uncertain as to what may occur, consider the “F” factor. The bible states that once you have FAITH, which only needs to be in a small amount, you will be able to move mountains.

Matthew 17:20
The Message (MSG)
20 “Because you’re not yet taking God seriously,” said Jesus. “The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, ‘Move!’ and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn’t be able to tackle.”

Be blessed!
Darlene
http://www.DarleneHunter.com

The Effect

When growing up in a household with Domestic Violence, what kind of effect do you think it has on the children in the household.  Does it affect boys differently than girls?